I like how every time I need to talk to my best friend she blows me off but she still expects me to be there when she needs to vent to me.
I mean, I succumb. I don’t blow her off and I get back to her as soon as I can when she needs me, even though she does that every fucking time I need her.

Worst best friend ever, but she’s my best friend nonetheless. 

Sadly.

current contents of my fridge:

• 2 whole packets of fiesta blend shredded cheese
• two iced coffees with caramel
• an everything bagel with cream cheese
• a tuna croissant
• margarita mix
   —but no alcohol lulz
• a single egg

moving to a new dorm in like three days, so putting grocery shopping off till then.

feeling hungry though. Guess I gotta go to Chipotle for the third time this week.　

I was shooting for a C-. This is so excellent. a;ldmfa’lkjga’ikljgapgn

Official: I fucking CONQUERED sophomore year college.

Officially halfway done with college! 

Political Engineering exam wasn’t as deadly as I thought it’d be… not sure if I was successful with studying or if I just taught myself everything wrong so it felt like a breeze…. I got a B- on the paper though. I’ll take it. 

Fuck the weather though for getting all rainy on the very day I’m done with everything -_______-

Already planning out my moment of liberation, aka Monday at 3:50 pm, the end of my Political Engineering exam. 
I’m thinking I walk out of the classroom exclaiming, “I’M A FREE BITCH, BABY!” a la Gaga and then break into the Bad Romance dance with my classmates and then we parade into Washington Square Park and everyone joins us and it’ll be super epic. 

Except that’s probably not actually going to happen. 

But we’ll see.

• can’t remember the last time I worked out. I think it was last week? Like, early last week. 
• officially picked smoking back up
• eating feels like the solution to life too often these days
• moving out of this dorm in like a week so I don’t want to buy any actual groceries
• so I resort to eating Chipotle and other fast food all the time
• that is, when I’m not on adderall 
• and coffee. Frappuccino Happy Hour at Starbucks!!!! 
• and then I still somehow find it in myself to go to parties and drink while there are actual priorities looming over me
• I THINK I EXHALE CORTISOL NOW. 

SO MANY BAD THINGS IN MY BODY ALL THE TIME. I’M SHOCKED MY CLOTHES STILL FIT.

Four classes are completely knocked out though. And now the hardest and the worst of all, prepping for that Political Engineering final on Monday. 

GUYS I GO TO ARTS SCHOOL I DON’T KNOW HOW TO STUDY

You know, I just texted the guy asking if he’d study with me. I even put “aka I ask you a million questions and you answer them in comprehensible English.” 10 hours later, not a sign of response. 

TAKE PITY ON A GIRL WHOSE FIRST EVER POLITICS CLASS TURNED OUT TO BE A POLITICS 800 CLASS. YES, SHE THINKS YOU’RE CUTE AND ASKED YOU OUT TWICE AND YOU BLEW HER OFF BOTH TIMES. SHE GOT YOUR HINT, OKAY? BUT NOW SHE REALLY JUST NEEDS YOUR HELP GODDAMMIT. I PROMISE I WON’T ASK YOU TO COFFEE EVER AGAIN. 

I blame Albert (NYU registration system) for letting me register for this dumb class without any prerequisites.

And yet somehow I’m minoring in politics now. 

• last day ever of classes for sophomore year. I am now an essay, a screenplay, and an exam away from freedom in a week. 
• turned in my political engineering essay today. I was feeling so proud of it and then while we were sitting in class I realized I did the analysis all wrong. Fuck game theory.
• got high after screenwriting. I usually don’t smoke during the day because it throws me off for the rest of the day, so here I am.
• next deadline is a 7-10 page paper on Harvey Weinstein. I hate having to do research. So tedious. 
• Texas in like 64 days! I’m excited to go back, but I’m glad I still have plenty of time here before then. 
• Suitemates are packing their stuff up to put away in storage. It’s depressing. 
• So pumped for the summer though! 

Just ordered a quesadilla and HORCHATA because it’s Cinco de Mayo :3 

staying in and working on my paper tonight though woooooooooo

drunk.

eating lunchables.

got a huge paper due monday.

uhhhh yolo?

practically exhaling cortisol right now. 

all I can do is talk about how stressed I am and how much I have to do, and yet I continue to just sit here and do everything but what I’m actually supposed to do.

UNITED STATES OF PROCRASTINATION 

guys can I make a craigslist ad asking someone to share their HBO GO login info with me　

• FINALS/END OF THE SEMESTER ANTICS ARE EATING ME ALIVE
• meanwhile I’m eating everything like a pregnant whale
• I forgot about the gym
  well at least my clothes still fit.. for now. 
• I have to write two essays and half a screenplay. Not worried about any of those as much as I am about..
• MY POLITICAL ENGINEERING FINAL EXAM ON MAY 14. I was failing at the midterm but since then I’ve talked to my prof and I think he feels sorry for me because I’m in arts school. But still. I’m terrified for the exam. 
• I’m getting played badly by this dude. Not even worth giving a nickname to, but I don’t know if he’s intentionally blowing me off or if he’s actually just one of those socially inept guys that also infest the world.
• But also homeboy had a girlfriend but then he became single but I think he still sees her. So he’s either working that out or he’s just not interested in me. Or he just forgets about me, which is basically the same thing as the latter thing I mentioned in the previous sentence. 
• I don’t know. He’s just really cute and talking to him is cool.
• And also I need to stay on good terms with him because I need him to study with me for aforementioned exam because I just need a lot of help.
• I picked smoking back up. Whatever I’m stressed. It’s been barely a week since and I already can’t wash the smoke smell outta my hair. Good thing I like that smell. 
• spending first half of summer in NYC and then I’m back in Texas July 10-August 29! BRING ON THE SUMMER ASAP PLZ

and otherwise, life as a 20-year-old is pretttty spectacular :)

cool guys I just got a charley horse when I was trying to take my rainboots off. I actually made a birthing scream. 

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